Finding a voice

I've come to notice something with the whole producing thing that's been slightly bothering me as of late. Basically, it's that all my writing is read by other people. There's nothing wrong with that, and I knew that when I took the job.

I guess my problem is that when I write, I write in my own voice. But my voice isn't the voice of the anchor. And the anchors for the most part read what I write. They do look over each script and make changes as necessary to fit their voice, but most of the time the guts of the script are the same.

A few times, mostly for teases and intros, the anchors won't look the scripts over, and when they see them in the teleprompter and don't like what they see, they try to ad lib, which can come off well or sometimes disastrously. And sometimes I think, "why didn't they just say what I wrote?" It's because they wouldn't say something like that.

So, my options are to write as generic as possible, or try to write as if the anchor was speaking. I know I'm still young and still haven't mastered the broadcast style. But in a way this also stymies creativity in vocabulary, because what may sound good in my mind might not work if someone else says it.

Example: Today I was writing a tease for the Anna Nicole Smith story, and I thought a good word to describe her life was tumultuous. The tease would be something like "The tumultuous life of Anna Nicole Smith comes to an end." However, I was discouraged from using this, as it's not really conversational, and most anchors wouldn't say it. Fine, I thought, I figured that wouldn't work. I then thought of turbulent as a word to describe her life. Well, maybe, but we settled on "tragic." Which does describe her life, but it doesn't carry exactly the same meaning as "tumultuous" or "turbulent."

So, the key is to be creative and "sexy" without using any big words, and in only one sentence or two. It's probably the one thing that still plagues me as a writer. It's hard to describe, but it has a lot to do with pacing and word play. And up to this point, there's never really been anything "sexy" about my writing, even though I can tell a story very well.

Maybe I just need more time in the biz to figure out what works and what doesn't. But part of me also feels limited in what I can write, because my voice is getting a little lost in the mix. Sometimes I wonder if writing for print would bring my voice out better, or if I would be satisfied by being a reporter, because I could speak on the air what I write.

Maybe that's why I like writing on my blog. It's not just a therapeutic way to bring out my thoughts and feelings. It's also a way to express myself in writing that's completely me, in my voice. Maybe I'm being selfish in my pursuits, but it feels good to have that byline sometimes with your writing.

Another thing that's related to this, is that I like to sit and ponder before I write, and in this business, you don't really have time to do that. And so I often feel that the writing I do for my job really isn't my best work. But then again, I probably would be less motivated if I didn't have time constraints.

In the end, maybe this is all nitpicky stuff that I really shouldn't worry about. But my mind likes to wander, and sometimes I think that my mind wanderings make for good blog topics, even if they aren't really that important. At least they're interesting. Hopefully.

One more leaving

Well, in a somewhat surprising turn of events, my other boss, the news director, is now resigning from the station. He says he wants to get out of the business. I can see why though; he was under way too much pressure these past few months with all these new shows and new hirings, and they actually combined two jobs (his and another's) for a sort of omniscient director of news and operations. I think it was way too much for him (or anyone) to handle, and he got really burned out from it.

In retrospect, this is somewhat less surprising than our assistant news director suddenly leaving to go to Eau Claire. In fact, our assistant news director might have gotten the news director job here if he had just stayed a few more weeks.

My biggest fear is that this will spawn even more resignations from the station. A lot of people who work in the newsroom now were brought in because they had some sort of connection with one of these two men, and soon they'll both be gone. I hope this doesn't create the mentality that "if my boss is leaving, maybe I should too."

That's one thing that's a little unattractive about the news business: the somewhat high turnover and the constant shifting. You really have to move around to get where you want to be. Madison is a mid-level market, so while some are comfortable staying here where they are, I'm sure there are still others that want to move up (and out). And I think this station doesn't have the resources to make sure everyone here is happy - many are overworked and underpaid.

With all i've just said, it's kind of interesting to figure out what makes the TV news business so attractive. I don't know if it's the little bit of fame people get from being on camera, the chance to tell stories, the adrenaline rush you get from deadline pressure - but for some reason, there seems to be plenty of people who want to get into it. And I guess I'd say if you really love doing it, keep doing it, and don't let finances bother you. But for me, I probably would discourage my children from going into TV. And that could be the sleep deprivation talking. It's a really tough business, although it can be really rewarding.

I think I've made the right choice in going back to grad school in 2008. I never really thought that TV news would end up being my career, and I sort of fell into it in college. I'm actually surprised I didn't go to grad school right away after undergrad, because I pretty much had always had in the back of my mind that I wanted to be a professor. I know I've got the brains to do it, and I think it's better that I start moving towards that part of my career sooner rather than later.

It'll be interesting to see what happens in the next few months, both in terms of my job and the jobs of others at the station. Stay tuned.


P.S. I remember why I hate cars so much: I just had to spend more than $600 to fix three things in my car. If I didn't need it, I probably wouldn't use it. And that's just another reason I'd like to move back to campus.